Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Problems that could be changed at Asa

Author’s Note: I am writing this is  persuasive piece because I have never written a persuasive piece during the time that I have been in the Academy. I also try not to make the sentences and paragraphs too long. I am trying to get out of the habit of repeating things over when I don’t have to. This piece is about how certain things at Asa Clark could be fixed, and what the gain would be if that problem was fixed.

Has there ever been a problem with a school and you wanted it fixed? There will always be problems with schools, and we just have to deal with it, in this piece I was trying to make it seem as if I was telling the teachers about the problems and what would be the gain if it was fixed, I am writing about the big problems and some small problems. There are a few things that could be fixed.

If the day started at 8:00 am it would be better than 7:30 because it gives parents and students and extra  half hour to get ready and get to school, especially people who don’t live in Pewaukee, and have to get driven to school or have to ride on a bus for over an hour. The day would be better if it ended at 2:30pm, because it would give  people more time to do homework, or read a book at home. It also would change the time that people get home, for example someone rides the bus and gets home at 3:00, if there were no problems they would get home at 2:45, which would give them 15 extra minutes to do stuff at home, it would also give people an extra time to walk home and would also allow them to get home earlier than they normally would. If they had a student check the soap in the bathroom  every week, they would lower the chance of students and staff members getting sick, because people who can’t use soap because they’re out of soap and have to use the soap in class or wait until they get to a class that has a sink to use soap, and if they were using their laptop they would touching keys and all of the germs would move from their hands to the computer. Students would have shorter classes if they were an hour, instead of  70 minutes, though they would have more classes and less time to do work.

It would be safer if gym class, track and cross country didn’t run outside if it is wet, because when people are running on a wet surface they can slip and fall easily, which would make parents angry that the teachers made their son or daughter run on a wet track, I know I would be angry if the teacher or coach made my kid run on a wet surface, and I know that most students wouldn’t want to run on a wet surface. If a student wants to look something up on YouTube, they should at least tell the teacher what they want to watch, and the teacher could watch to make sure they are typing in the right thing, and not searching something inappropriate or searching for something that they didn’t tell the teacher. If anybody doesn’t like that, then they don’t have to use YouTube and can use something else to find what they are looking for. A lot of students who get hungry around the time that A lunch is, but have B lunch would be joyful if the lunch room was expanded to hold all the students, and lunch should be 45 minutes instead of 26, because students who have just gotten their lunch and it is time to go outside wouldn’t be able to because they are having lunch, and I don’t know what kind of person doesn’t like being able to go outside. It should be ten minutes that students can go outside, because they would get a few extra minutes to hang out with their friends, unless it is a rainy and gloomy day, because it is damp and cold, and who would want to go outside in that weather? Nobody I know would want to go outside when it’s raining.

The middle school students wouldn’t have to walk as far if buses dropped students off in the morning where they did before, because it is a short walk for the high school students, and it would be shorter for middle school students, because they have to walk the whole distance from the bus to Asa Clark and it would get cut a fourth of the distance they have to walk from bus to ACMS. More people could use the water fountains if they fixed the one in the gym, that way people in gym could use both of the water fountains, instead of waiting behind five or six people just to get a drink, and fix the other water fountains that don’t work as well so the water would come out high enough that people don’t have to lean down far to get a drink of water, it would also allow people to use any of the fountains, instead of using one of the fountains to get a drink instead of using the any of them, because if everybody used one fountain on the first or second floor and didn’t wash their hands because there isn’t any soap, there would be a greater chance of students and staff members getting a cold, or a fever, or any contagious disease that spreads by touching something that another person touched, because it would spread to the next person who used the water fountain. 25$ seems like a lot of money for lunch, but when ice cream is 1.50$ or two dollars, or when Cousins Subs are about four dollars, they run out of money fast, so they should change the price of ice cream to one dollar or 1.50, and soda and other drinks to a dollar, and the subs should be three dollars, and Ala Carte should be a dollar, and that will allow students to have a sub or ice cream without wasting their money.

There are quite a few things that could be fixed at Asa Clark, and they would only have to spend money on soap, and the water fountains, the other problems are things that could easily be fixed, so they wouldn’t have to spend money fixing the other problems. Please comment about what I could have changed or fixed, so I can make this post better.

1 comment:

  1. I like what you have to say in the author's note. Your goal of not repeating yourself shows that you are aware that is an issue for you, and in this piece, you don't repeat yourself like you used to. At the same time, you need to organize. You are missing an introduction, conclusion, and the body paragraphs aren't organized. If you need some help with seeing how that is necessary, let's work on this together. Your opinions are strong, and well stated. You don't just sound angry or irrational. Be sure to pre-write so that the points can be made one at a time.

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